Are you a good judge of character? Are you sure?
Most people won’t admit it, but we size up (1) other people’s characters all the time. In fact, research suggests that it takes just 30 seconds to make up our minds about someone’s intelligence and personality (we make other assessments even faster) and that these evaluations are surprisingly accurate.
In one study, researchers showed participants short videos of different couples interacting, and participants were able to detect which individuals had cheated on their partners. Likewise (2), observers watching videos of randomly selected speed daters were able to infer participants’ level of romantic interest. So the idea that you can’t judge a book by its cover (3) is inconsistent with the evidence: People, it seems, are fairly transparent and we can see through (4) them pretty easily and accurately.
That said, not everyone is equally competent at judging others’ character. Like any other talent, the ability to read other people is what researchers would call “normally distributed” in the overall population, which means that most people are average, some people are really good, and others are totally clueless (5).
And although people who are good at this are generally aware of it, too many people in the average and clueless groups think they are good at it, too—a circumstance that’s consistent with the finding that most people overestimate their social skills, especially when they’re really poor. So how then can you work out whether you’re as good a judge of character as you think you are? Here are three key factors to consider.
YOU HAVE HIGH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Contrary to what many people think, emotional intelligence (EQ) is a personality trait. And people who have more of it tend to be cool-headed (6), optimistic, and altruistic. The essence of EQ is being more agreeable, emotionally stable, and extroverted, and people with these characteristics tend to be better at examining other people’s characters—perhaps because they’re less focused on themselves.
Conversely (7), no matter how insightful and observant people with lower EQ may be, they have a tendency to pay less attention to the people they interact with, especially in stressful situations.
YOU CAN PREDICT PEOPLE’S BEHAVIOURS
When it comes to evaluating others, the ultimate measure of accuracy isn’t whether the person you evaluate agrees with your assessment of them but whether it predicts their future performance. This makes sense. It’s often said that we are what we repeatedly do, so when you grasp somebody’s essence, you're more likely to know how they’ll behave in the future. Think about the people you know best—your partner, your close relatives, your best friends—no doubt they’re pretty predictable to you. You can work out when they’re going to show up late, when they'll be interested in something, and how they’ll respond when you ask them something important. The proof that you know them is that you can predict them. So you can apply this same rule to your evaluations of others. If you’re an accurate forecaster of those folks’ behaviours, too, you’re more likely to be a good judge of character overall.
YOU UNDERSTAND HOW OTHERS ARE PERCEIVED
Ultimately, our characters exist in the public domain—they’re the basis of our reputations. We’re generally all hired, fired, married, and promoted according to what other people think of us, and how much other people’s trust depends on their perceptions of what we do and who we are, rather than what we actually do.
This is why aggregate (8) character evaluations — consensual ratings, by a group of people—are the most powerful predictor of what we will do in the future (as opposed to one-off (9) assessments by individuals). If the most advanced knowledge you can have on somebody is to predict what they’ll do, then the average opinion that everybody has on us may better reflect who we are than our own opinion does. Or as David Bowie once put it, “I guess I am what the greatest number of people think I am.”
So one way to evaluate whether you’re a good judge of character is to see if you can infer what most people think of someone. For instance, you may introduce a new acquaintance to your group of friends and try to predict how well they’ll like your acquaintance —or, while you’re at it (10), try and predict the results of political elections.
Needless to say (11), each of these factors also apply to others when they’re trying to understand you. There are clearly instances where this can hurt our own interests, for instance when we’re trying to conceal our intentions or influence people. Still, more often than not we benefit from letting others know who we are, what we want, and what we stand for.
And when we aren’t sure, others may be able to tell us.
APPEARANCES ARE DECEPTIVE
You never have a second chance to give a first impression. We all know that this is a great tip for certain situations in which you need to impress people in a particular way. Still, when it comes to getting to know a person, appearances are deceptive (i.e. the internal reality may be — and often is — different from the external looks). Likewise, all that glitters is not gold — or in other words something that looks attractive may be so, but again, it may not!
Conversely, according to the evidence presented in the article, we may have to review the old adage and rephrase it or change it altogether. If “don’t judge a book by its covers” does no longer hold, then you can judge the character or the qualities, virtues and defects of a person or a thing just by looking at them — for that is what the proverb means. She doesn’t look very friendly, but you can't judge a book by its cover. Wait until she opens up a little. Sensibly enough, most of us still believe that snap judgment — a hurried decision or finding, as in He is said to always make snap judgments on personal questions, without investigating further — is not the best way to understand other people.
If you do not care to get to know a person better or start any kind of relationship with them, you may choose not to give them a chance, arguing as follows: “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know” — shortened to “better the devil you know.” Quite transparently, you use this proverb in a situation in which you have to choose between a familiar but unpleasant situation and an unfamiliar situation — favouring the former for fear the latter may turn out to be worse. Even if you are not completely satisfied at work, do not change your job yet. Better the devil you know.
Finally, and in keeping with the religious metaphor, also bear in mind that the cowl / hood does not make the monk. Go out, test yourself on your capacity to discover other people’s true nature at first glance and, while you’re at it, make some new friends.
Vocabulary
“size up” (1)
When you size a person up, you observe them to make an assessment or judgment about them. When the candidate came in, he looked the candidate over trying to size him up.
“likewise” (2)
In written text, the connector “likewise” is used to mean “in the same way.” Public transportation is virtually inaccessible in that country; likewise, its hospitals are also not very user-friendly. There’s another use in informal speech, as a response to mean that you share the feelings that another person has just expressed, as in “Have a good weekend.’ ‘Likewise” I “ It was nice meeting you” “Likewise,” or when you agree with a statement that also applies to you, as in “I am too tired to continue walking” “Likewise.”
“can’t judge a book by its covers” (3)
“see through” (4)
The metaphorical meaning of the expression is closely related to the literal meaning, that is to say, if you see through a person, you understand or detect their true nature. It is not hard to see through his feigned good nature. He is very selfish. It’s also used when you understand the hidden truth of something. She saw through his excuse and effort to avoid responsibility.
“clueless” (5)
You use “clues” — signs or information —a in order to solve a mystery or a problem. The police look for clues when they try to solve a case. If you “don’t have a clue” or are “clueless,” then you are unable to understand something because you do not have the necessary information or signs. Some parents are totally clueless as to adapt to the time when their children reach adolescence.
“coolheaded” (6)
If a person is coolheaded, they are not easily excited, they are usually calm and composed, even-tempered. They keep cool, especially in situations where one wouldn’t. The opposite quality is, clearly, to be hotheaded, that is fiery in temper, impetuous, easily angered, quick to take offense. Some people might think that hotheaded people shouldn’t be allowed to drive cars.
“conversely” (7)
Another connector for written text, “conversely” introduces a different and opposite way to look at an issue. It’s synonymous with “on the other hand.” Last year, Northern European countries had a great summer. Conversely, southern Europe had poor weather.
“aggregate” (8)
This word used as an adjective is basically technical, and it means “formed by the collection of several items into a sum or a whole.” In economics, the total number or amounts put together. Therefore, you speak of aggregate sales / expenses / amount / The five companies have an aggregate turnover of £5.2 million.
“one-off” (9)
A “one-off” is something that happens only once and is not repeated or reproduced. It is both a noun, as in I don’t think the complaint is a one-off, and an adjective, as in the article and in When you check in the hotel, you have to pay a one-off city tax as a tourist.
“while you are at it” (10)
This idiomatic expression is used for telling someone to do something while they are doing something else. This “at it” is that other activity the person is engaged in, which activity has textual reference, that is to say, it has to have been mentioned before. The suggestion that follows the expression is necessarily related to the aforementioned activity. For instance: Come and see my new apartment, and while you are at it, you can help me unpack / You’re polishing your shoes! Can you please do mine while you are at it?
“needless to say” (11)
This expression introduces such an obvious, self-evident idea, statement, situation that it doesn’t need to be expressed. And, although it may sound nonsensical to say something that is unnecessary, its ultimate effect is to give your statement special emphasis. In fact, you know that it really isn’t needless to say. A synonymous expression is “it goes without saying.” Needless to say, I felt really upset at the practical joke they played on April’s Fools’”.