There are an infinite number of genders - some of the most common gender identities are listed below, with their accompanying symbols.
How do pronouns connect to gender?
Pronouns are a way to describe someone’s gender. Agender Are there more than two pronouns to describe a person's gender? Yes, there are many pronouns available. Some include: She/Her/Hers Ze/Zir/Zirs They/Them/Theirs Xe/Xem/Xyr Demigirl He/Him/His It/Its/Itself Some people use multiple sets of pronouns. These are called rolling pronouns and may be used interchangeably within a sentence, or may be used based on how someone expresses their gender. Example: Roman uses they/them/theirs and he/him/his pronouns. Roman got a perfect score on their math test and is proud of himself. Neopronouns are pronouns that have been newly created to describe someone in a gender neutral way. Ze/zir/zirs and xe/xem/xyr are two examples of neopronoun sets. Example: Aubree uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns. Aubree's favorite holiday is Halloween because xe gets to dress up as xyr favorite superheroes.What is misgendering?
Misgendering is the act of using the wrong pronouns when talking to or about someone. Example: Susie uses he/him/his pronouns. You would misgender him by saying, "Susie is such a great knitter; she knows so much." Saying "Susie is such a great knitter; he knows so much" uses Susie's correct pronouns. What if I don’t know a person's pronouns? Often, misgendering happens by accident. When we meet a new person, sometimes we don’t know their pronouns. It's wise to never assume pronouns based on appearance. If you don’t know someone’s pronouns when speaking about them or to them, use their name in place of pronouns. If you want to know someone's pronouns, do not ask them directly - it can be unsafe for transgender people to have their pronouns questioned. Instead, introduce yourself and give your pronouns. This can create trust between you both, and the person may share their pronouns in return. If they do not, go back to step one and use their name.What is deadnaming?
Deadnaming is the act of calling a transgender person by an incorrect name. Often, this is a name they were given at birth and no longer use.How do I avoid deadnaming a person?
In order to not deadname someone, you need to know their current name and commit to using it. Sometimes, you can find this information out because they will tell you while introducing themself. Other times, a friend, family member, or coworker may tell you someone's name, or it will be on their social media. When you know someone's correct name, make sure to use it even when describing past events or stories about the person. It is never okay or necessary to use the person's deadname. Sometimes, trans youth will change their name several times. This is done because they are trying to figure out what name feels right. Someone might have a different name every time you see them. This is okay and should be respected.
What do I do if I accidently misgender or deadname someone?
It is important to always give a quick apology and correct yourself if you catch your mistake. If you or someone else realizes you misgendered someone after the moment, you can work to not do it in the future, promise to catch yourself if you misgender in the future, or give a quick apology and recognition to the person you misgendered. There is no need to make excuses or give long apologies. How important is it to use a person's correct pronouns and name?
Several studies show that when you use someone's correct pronouns and name, it drastically decreases that person's thoughts of suicide, depression and anxiety. This is especially true for transgender youth. What if I don’t want to use the person's correct pronouns or name? How would you feel if someone constantly called you the wrong name and refused to change? Misgendering and deadnaming someone without correcting is disrespectful and harmful. It can make trans people feel dysphoric - or even result in unsafe experiences, such as exposing them to anti-trans violence. If you decide you do not want to use someone's correct name or pronouns, you should avoid talking about or spending time with them to avoid continually harming them. You should not explain to someone why you've made this decision. Explaining why you won't use someone's name or pronouns shows that you've chosen to invalidate their identity, and is an act of violence. I still have trouble understanding the importance of misgendering and deadnaming.
You might not understand the importance of pronouns and chosen names because you haven't personally had the experience of having your name or pronouns invalidated. To be a better ally, you should first educate yourself. You can learn more about deadnaming and misgendering by researching them online, reading books or articles, taking training courses and speaking to cisgender people who have a better understanding. Never ask a transgender person about misgendering, deadnaming and being trans unprompted. If they trust you to talk about those topics, they will bring those topics up to you.